'Nice digs,' she said...

...and promptly made herself at home on the couch.

by Koop Kooper

   One of the most important aspects of Cad living is the bachelor pad, and I really can't stress how important this is.

   Why? Well, a stylish bachelor pad is not just for entertaining but it also serves another purpose. It is the life-centre, the heartbeat of the lifestyle. Picture this if you will: the upcoming Cad living in a little one-bedroom dive downtown. He looks out the window and all he can see is a train flying past. He opens his pokey little wardrobe and pulls out a suit to admire himself in the cracked window of a dimly lit room. Sure, he cuts a striking figure, but does our young novice feel good about the surroundings? Probably not. Does he feel like a winner? Well, kind of. Did he have a good sleep last night? Does he feel rested? Not at all, since the couple next door argued all night and then the trains stirred the tired soul every half hour. If this is you, then, brother, you need PAD, a CAD Bachelor PAD.

   Now, not everyone can afford an upmarket apartment - hell I can’t – and that’s why I rent. Leasing is the best option because you can always have something you can’t possibly afford to own, thus moving you into the upper echelon of society.

   When I was searching for a suitable abode, I set myself a limit of around $600 a month to guarantee the best I could afford. I then set a checklist of things I wanted and didn’t want. You gotta get it right cos you will probably sign on for at least six months to a year.

   I deliberately looked for something built in the fifties or sixties that has had plenty of TLC, was home to mostly young professionals or retired people just to make sure it was quiet and that no families allowed their kids to be running around the hallways banging on doors. For the ’65 Mopar, I needed free undercover and secure parking, a storage area for my tools and other car bits I tend to acquire, and, most importantly, the apartment had to be located in the city and with a view.

   Once you find this perfect location, it’s time to make it a home, and no pad is complete without cool fifties/sixties or reproduction furniture and assortments. For the young Cad I would check out some of the antique stores, charity stores and, of course, E-bay. Despite popular thinking, you can still get some good buys without spending a fortune. I was lucky in that I spent some time working out in the country where bargains are a-plenty, but if you can’t do that, then simply buy what you desperately need and then spend your free time searching for those must have items to decorate your new digs. This can be a lot of fun, and is certainly easier once you have the pad. You look around to see what you still need and then go searching for it.

koop1

   Now to think that your new pad will be just like Matt Helm’s or Catcher Block’s is unrealistic, unless you are genius with electronics and mechanics. I would focus on the simple things you can do, such as creative lighting to manufacture the perfect mood while entertaining. This can be achieved through the use of mirrors and lower or higher wattage bulbs in lamps carefully place to achieve the most inviting scenery.

   One little trick I use is the use of timers on a single hidden power board which when switched can slowly turn off lights in timed intervals, it’s subtle and alluring. Just make sure it isn’t too obvious, otherwise your guest might exit stage left if you are not careful.

   Next is the Hi-fi: you just gotta have the smooth sounds at your finger tips. Spend some time searching the second-hand and antique stores for a swinging sixties console to spin your records. The best one to have is one with inputs so that you can also play your Ipod through which guarantees long play and easy playlist selection to set the perfect mood. And if you like, you can play my podcast “The Cocktail Nation” through the Hi-fi with ol Koop choosing the swank tunes for you. My pleasure!

   As far as furnishings are concerned I really would try and stay away from things that are a bit too kitsch or granny like. Select darker wood grains and sombre colours that are a bit more manly. Earlier, I mentioned Catcher Block’s pad in Down With Love. The artistic team on this film captured a male pad perfectly: dark woods and dark blues for contrast. Too much brightness and fifties pastels and people will question your manhood.

   Bachelor Pad essentials are few but necessary; for example, a bar is a must have. I found mine in a small western Queensland town that I was living in for around $60, and I just love it. It’s slightly Tiki without going over board. Remember, when it comes to the perfect pad, less is more. Simplistic, functional, and manly is what you are striving for.

koop2

Okay, I knew this would have to be mentioned. The bedroom. Again, simple and functional. I suggest you buy a basic wooden King size bed and dress it in those dark colours I mentioned, keeping it manly yet inviting. The only fancy dressing in the room should be the bedside table and lamps. Ensure the bedside table matches and go crazy with the lamps, the more space age the better. If you have the room, use a spare room as your walk in wardrobe. As we CAD’s have more clothes than the average man I think a whole room dedicated to the clothes and shoes is a good investment. It keeps the bedroom uncluttered and you can order your clothes whichever way you wish. Just ensure you have a full-length mirror and a small dresser to keep yourself looking dapper and to keep things ordered.

Well the rest is up to you. Make your pad your own manly retreat and enjoy the fringe benefits, my friend.

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