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Tuesday, 01 April 2008 12:48 |
It's Fashion Week in Pixley!
Just because you’ve elected to join the ranks of the gentleman farmer, there’s no need to dress down. Oliver Wendell Douglas, proud agriculturist and occasional attorney-at-law, underscores the inherent dignity and sheer stylishness of his newfound vocation. Joining him, The Cad, salutes the American farmer and presents the stunning Spring crop....uhm, collection.
 The Farmer
Always fashionable and now functional, this classic three-piece is appropriate for both a morning in the court and an afternoon on the back forty.
Complementing Oliver’s tone-on-tone charcoal suit of durable worsted wool are pearl-grey cashmere-lined gloves of sturdy canvas construction. An up-to-the-minute stylishly slim necktie completes the look.
The Farmhand
And here comes Eb in a form-fitting double-breasted. Extra-wide lapels with deep belly accentuate the broad shoulders of everyone’s favorite farmhand while a pinched waist creates an hourglass silhouette. Co-ordinated is a beige news-boy cap ($ 3.95 at Sam Drucker’s - sizes XXS and XXL only) while the silk bow tie is mated to the chocolate-colored buttons.
A stunning combination.
On the Move!
Sharp, sexy, and outta sight, here’s Oliver in a sleek single- button mohair. Some thought the gold waistcoat over the top, but we thought it made the outfit pop.
 Vrooommm...
The Cad should but wonder what woman of Hooterville can resist this bad boy? A spirited motorcycle ride to the county seat has Oliver sporting dark narrow tie, double-breasted waistcoat, and slimming flat-front trousers. Hand-stitched gloves are from Haney’s House of Hooterville and feature genuine imitation silver studs forged by no one less than Paul Revere’s great-grandnephew’s third cousin...twice removed.
The Ziffel
Steampunk finally came to Hooterville and every critic agreed that the team at Pixley Five & Ten has done it again. Last year the design house rocked the fashion world with their Newt Kiley and Floyd Smoot lines and this year they brought the house down with the bold look of the Fred Ziffel. For the coming season, Edwardian is definitely in as we predict men will take to wing collar shirts and tattersall waistcoats. Kudos to the stylists for matching the boater ribbon to necktie. It’s that unwavering attention to detail that has kept Pixley Five & Ten at top of the game.
 The Huntsman
Pendleton? MacGregor? When it comes to protection from the elements, the heavy plaid woolens of the big two have been traditional county favorites, but even Roy Trendell, Hooterville’s most die-hard duck hunter, seems to have taken note of Mr. Douglas in this handsome alpaca topcoat. And just look at that
bowler! Not only smart, this utilitarian hard-shell lid keeps his noggin safe upon falls from roof, hayloft, or telephone pole. We should think even a carelessly tossed hammer by the Monroe Brothers might have trouble cracking that hat.
Controversy!
How could there be a Pixley Fashion Week be without it? On Saturday, Thom Browne threw a lavish ball to introduce his new line of formal wear, but with his trademark too-short trousers and sleeves, the general consensus was that he was continuing to set rustic fashions back forty years. Said County Agent Hank Kimball, ‘Frankly, we’ve seen this look from him last year and the year before that and it’s kind of old hat. Well, it’s not actually a hat, is it? More of a tuxedo, though I suppose you could wear a hat with it if you wanted. Something like a hamburger. No, that’s not right. I guess what I meant was a Homburg, because a hamburger’s something you eat and I don’t think you can really eat a Homburg. Funny how people say that, though - ‘I’ll eat my hat’ - but you never see anyone actually do it. Except for the chief, of course. Yeah, he used to say that all the time. ‘Hank,’ he used to say, ‘if this isn’t a year for corn, I’ll eat my hat,’ and I never believed he’d actually eat it till one day I walked into the Pixley Diner and, wouldn’t you know it, there he was sitting at the counter ea...No, as a matter of fact, I think that was a hamburger. Hah, no wonder he put ketchup on it.‘
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